I'm always so fascinated by the wonder of the sky. It's like to me the key to life is locked up in it's splendor. Looking at it right now I see misty clouds trying to hide the brightly twinkly starts. Some a light whitish mist, some a darker shadowy sort. Light and dark.
U know, sometimes when I look up and sit quietly I try to see the constant war. U do know that there is a war going on right. Every second of everyday. The war between light and dark. Good and bad. Angels and demons. We don't see it, but it is happening. Sometimes when I look up I can see it in my spirit. Millions of angels, God's beings of light, angels! Fighting demons from the dark underworld. FOR MY SOUL. For my soul. FOR MY SOUL. Fighting so that I may know my God. Fighting so that I may live. Fighting so that I may prosper. Fighting so that I may walk in the light. Fighting so that I may be loved. Fighting so that I may have peace. Fighting so that I won't have to.
Do u realize how important u have to be that GOD- the ALMIGHTY GOD that made heaven and earth and everything in it- will send out and army of angels to fight on ur behalf? To constantly fight demons so they won't reach u and tear u apart? Do you get how much this GOD must love u?
You, me, every single body and soul on this earth, it is u that they are fighting for. You. Sinner. The angels are at war with the demons so they won't distract u from finding GOD. They are fighting a battle for u to live peacefully and joyfully. Have u even entertained the thought of what these demons would do to u if GOD wasn't so mercy full to send out this army of light beings to fiend for u?
Please open up ur eyes? Please see how much u are loved.
An army ou bra! An army of angels. Fighting. For YOUR life. For mine. Please see?
Friday, January 13, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Today differently
9 January 2003 I had a phone conversation with my dad. He was in hospital and I wanted to know how he was doing. He told me he was fine n doing well.'I'm coming home toe see you Saturday morning' I said (this was thursday)... I never heard his voice again. When I saw him again he was laying in his coffin.
9 January 2010 I was sitting in a room with a feast of pills infront of me. Alone. I gave out one last cry before lifting my hand to end my life. The lady of the house came calling my name, banging on the door for me to open up quick. She wasn't supposed to come back, she wasn't supposed to be in town.
When she called my name I could swear I heard God. No one still has any idea of what I went through that day, of what I was about to do. After I opened the door for her I walked back to my room thinking 'ok Lord, I know U want me alive, but what for? What for?'And I kept the rainbow cloured pills in a little box...just incase.
9 January 2012 I don't know what God has planned for me, but I know that it is good. That's what He taught me. That's what He promised me. I am more confused than ever, but I trust on the perfect plan of this God that gave me new live.
9 January 2012 I am going through the pain and confusion of loosing someone and something very important to my being.
9 January 2012 I still do not understand Father, but I trust U.
9 January 2010 I was sitting in a room with a feast of pills infront of me. Alone. I gave out one last cry before lifting my hand to end my life. The lady of the house came calling my name, banging on the door for me to open up quick. She wasn't supposed to come back, she wasn't supposed to be in town.
When she called my name I could swear I heard God. No one still has any idea of what I went through that day, of what I was about to do. After I opened the door for her I walked back to my room thinking 'ok Lord, I know U want me alive, but what for? What for?'And I kept the rainbow cloured pills in a little box...just incase.
9 January 2012 I don't know what God has planned for me, but I know that it is good. That's what He taught me. That's what He promised me. I am more confused than ever, but I trust on the perfect plan of this God that gave me new live.
9 January 2012 I am going through the pain and confusion of loosing someone and something very important to my being.
9 January 2012 I still do not understand Father, but I trust U.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Silence
Most times we pray one thing yet live another. How easy is it realy, to pray for peace and live like you have it? To pray for joy and live like you feel it. To call on God and act like He's there.
In my morning prayers I always invite God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit into my day. I invite Him into my mind, my heart, onto my tongue and in my actions. And I thank Him, in faith, for being there.
Then it comes to this part of the day. Those moments where your chest closes up and you feel like you're about to crack under the pressure of frustration. You want to scream things at people so much that it shuts you up. So you remember that you prayed, and the voice inside you says 'you gave it to God, what do you have left of it to worry about?' And you listen, you listen. You close your eyes and you listen. But when you open them back up it's still there...staring at you... mocking you. Reality. And you want to scream at it, curse it, with all your might fight it make it understand that it is wrong. At the same time while you want to freak out and have a panic fit, you want to be okay and at peace. How do you? HOW DO YOU. Is this the quiet storm I keep hearing about.
Strength...vulnerability...I don't quite feel the difference. So I tell myself 'stronger is He that is in me, than him that is in the world. Today its a little more 'convincing' than 'telling'.
...So you pray again. I mean what? Why am I acting like God didn't hear me the first time. Why am I acting like He does not care? Why am I so darn weak to this desperation to be heard, understood and respected? Why do I pray one thing, but don't get up for long enough to live it. Why can't I breath.
I know I invited You into this day Father. I know You hear and understand the burning in my chest. Please save me from myself? Touch me.
In my morning prayers I always invite God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit into my day. I invite Him into my mind, my heart, onto my tongue and in my actions. And I thank Him, in faith, for being there.
Then it comes to this part of the day. Those moments where your chest closes up and you feel like you're about to crack under the pressure of frustration. You want to scream things at people so much that it shuts you up. So you remember that you prayed, and the voice inside you says 'you gave it to God, what do you have left of it to worry about?' And you listen, you listen. You close your eyes and you listen. But when you open them back up it's still there...staring at you... mocking you. Reality. And you want to scream at it, curse it, with all your might fight it make it understand that it is wrong. At the same time while you want to freak out and have a panic fit, you want to be okay and at peace. How do you? HOW DO YOU. Is this the quiet storm I keep hearing about.
Strength...vulnerability...I don't quite feel the difference. So I tell myself 'stronger is He that is in me, than him that is in the world. Today its a little more 'convincing' than 'telling'.
...So you pray again. I mean what? Why am I acting like God didn't hear me the first time. Why am I acting like He does not care? Why am I so darn weak to this desperation to be heard, understood and respected? Why do I pray one thing, but don't get up for long enough to live it. Why can't I breath.
I know I invited You into this day Father. I know You hear and understand the burning in my chest. Please save me from myself? Touch me.
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