Today differently

9 January 2003 I had a phone conversation with my dad. He was in hospital and I wanted to know how he was doing. He told me he was fine n doing well.'I'm coming home toe see you Saturday morning' I said (this was thursday)... I never heard his voice again. When I saw him again he was laying in his coffin.

9 January 2010 I was sitting in a room with a feast of pills infront of me. Alone. I gave out one last cry before lifting my hand to end my life. The lady of the house came calling my name, banging on the door for me to open up quick. She wasn't supposed to come back, she wasn't supposed to be in town.
When she called my name I could swear I heard God. No one still has any idea of what I went through that day, of what I was about to do. After I opened the door for her I walked back to my room thinking 'ok Lord, I know U want me alive, but what for? What for?'And I kept the rainbow cloured pills in a little box...just incase.

9 January 2012 I don't know what God has planned for me, but I know that it is good. That's what He taught me. That's what He promised me. I am more confused than ever, but I trust on the perfect plan of this God that gave me new live.

9 January 2012 I am going through the pain and confusion of loosing someone and something very important to my being.

9 January 2012 I still do not understand Father, but I trust U.